Helping Parents Navigate College Send Off
Note: Today's post comes from guest blogger Hanna Bankier ofBirdyLauncher!
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Sending your child off to college is an exciting milestone, but it can also stir up a mix of emotions: pride, anxiety, and even grief. It’s not just your child who’s embarking on a new journey, you are too!
While this phase is often called the “empty nest,” that’s not entirely true. You’re still in it! The nest just looks a little different. Think of this stage as a journey through three phases: grief, relief and eventually joy. If you are preparing for this transition, here are some steps to help both you and your child navigate with greater ease.
Acknowledge Your Emotions and Feelings
It’s normal to feel a range of emotions when your child leaves. You might experience grief over the change, but relief can follow as you settle into a new rhythm. Eventually, you’ll find joy in both your child’s growth and your own rediscovery. Let yourself feel these emotions without judgment.
Acknowledge Your Feelings: It’s okay to grieve the shift in your relationship dynamic.
Find a Support Network: Talk to other parents who have been through it. You’re not alone!
Evolve Your Parenting
No college-bound kid wants to be parented like you did when they were 10. This is an opportunity to co-create a new version of your relationship with your soon flown kid.
Co-create a new job description for you: For example Coach, Sounding board, Advisor.
Evolve Your Parenting: Take it from “mom” to “mom-mentor”.
Set Boundaries While Staying Connected
College is a time for your child to gain independence and even make mistakes too. Support them by listening when needed and offering guidance without overstepping. Trust the foundation you’ve built and give them space to grow.
Avoid Micromanaging: Let them make their own decisions and learn from mistakes.
Agree on Communication Expectations: Decide how often you’ll check in, but allow them to take the lead.
Find New Routines and Hobbies
This is a great time to rediscover yourself. Take up hobbies you’ve always wanted to try or revisit passions you may have put on hold. Focusing on your own goals can provide a renewed sense of purpose.
Find Your Community: Join groups that match your interests to find support and new friendships.
Set New Goals: Focus on personal or professional milestones to stay motivated and inspired.
Plan Visits and Quality Time
Having future visits or holidays planned gives you something to look forward to and provides a chance to reconnect without adding extra pressure while your child adjusts to campus life.
Plan Ahead: Plan visits during breaks to spend meaningful time together without disrupting their daily routine.
Stay Flexible: Allow your child’s academic schedule and commitments to guide visit plans.
Embrace the New Nest
Many parents experience a sense of purposelessness when kids leave. The key to overcoming this is staying active and engaged in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Focus on evolving your identity through goals and connections.
Give Back: Use your experience to help others in your community.
Create a Vision: Use this time to reimagine your life’s next chapter.
Trust the Process
Your child is more prepared than you think. Trust that the lessons you’ve instilled in them will guide their choices. They’ll make mistakes, but those experiences are crucial for growth.
Encourage Problem Solving: Remind them they have the tools to face challenges on their own.
Stay Available: Let them know you're there if they need support or advice, but trust them to take the lead.
By embracing these changes, you’ll not only help your child thrive but also discover new ways to grow and find joy for yourself. The nest isn’t empty…you’re still in it, creating a new and fulfilling chapter to rediscover yourself and pursue opportunities that bring purpose, connection, and joy to this stage of life.
About Hanna
Hanna Bankier, MA, ACC, is a Coach, Change Catalyst, and Speaker who helps moms navigate the BirdyLauncher transition, finding joy and purpose as their children leave the nest. After 20+ years in television, she left her VP role to found the Working Solutions Group, supporting individuals through life changes.
Drawing from her own experience launching her oldest child and preparing for her youngest to leave, Hanna became a trusted resource for fellow moms which led her to create BirdyLauncher. In her free time, she enjoys hiking, traveling, serving on the BAYCAT.org board, and hosting gatherings for loved ones.